I'M IN A JESS FRANCO STATE OF MIND

UNA RAJITA PARA DOS (1984) Credited to «Lulu La Verne» UNA RAJITA PARA DOS (rough translation: A PUSSY FOR TWO) would qualify, with its numerous close-ups of objects being removed from rectums, as Jess Franco’s most disgusting film. Nevertheless, it is not an uninteresting dip into the sordid waters of scatological hardcore. Below: Jess Franco as the hotel voyeur in UNA RAJITA PARA DOS.

Spy (Emilio Linder) in UNA RAJITA PARA DOS (Lulu La Verne, 1982)

Everyone is a spy in this film, including Jess Franco himself as a hotel clerk-voyeur. The most amusing character is a happy-go-lucky spy nicknamed «The Queen» (Franco regular Antonio Mayans). His spyware includes the kind of audio pick-up that James Bond might have used in one of his classic adventures, enjoying the sounds of the various erotic adventures in adjacent hotel rooms. Tommy Proculi aka Antonio Mayans practices audio voyeurism as a gay Russian spy named «The Queen»….. The setting is the Flamingo Hotel located on the exotic Costa del Sol. Linda is a female spy who is attempting to recover some stolen microfilm secreted in the rectum of a male agent (Johnny Poyales aka Jose Llamas). Her team includes such 1980s Franco players as Maria del Carmen Nieto (MANSION OF THE LIVING DEAD) and Emilio Linder (DIAMONDS OF KILAMANJARO). The Queen is also on the trail of the microfilm. Lina Romay, who co-directed with Franco, and Mayans look like they had a lot of fun making this very minor hardcore which is mostly made up of grind footage, money shots and gynecological close-ups featuring the most disgusting images Franco even filmed, detailing the insertions and extractions of the microfilm into a spy’s nether region. To drive home his satirical point, Franco shot these scenes through a magnifying glass. His philosophy seemed to be to give «too much information» to the raincoat crowd, who just expected the typical cheap thrills. I guess Jess Franco figured if he had to make a film like this he might as well have some fun with hermetic in-jokes and a sarcastic toned overview of the hardcore product which flooded the Spanish market at that time. Another mixture of self, linguistic and cultural satire which launched a series of hardcore mini-epics produced by Fernando Vidal Campos’ FERVI FILMS, Madrid. My own personal favorite of the Fervi hardcores, and also a favorite of Jess, is the 1985 EL MIRON Y LA EXHIBICIONISTA, which features magnetic interactions between these typical close-ups, a thriller undercurrent and a cubist mise-en-scene. This obscurity received a Spanish video release on the Valfer label. Don’t expect a restored Blu-ray edition anytime soon. The hotel and Costa del Sol exteriors shimmer with candy colored flora and there are a few sight gags which might produce a guffaw from the completest. My favorite scene is the ending where Franco’s voyeur passes off the microfilm to «The Queen» who skips his merry way back toward the Soviet Union. The upbeat Hot Jazz/80s funk score* is credited to Victor Chichi Nabeira, presumably a beard for the director. More sexually related pseudonyms in the credits include Francesco Del Pi Trofuera (out with your cock) as DP (also Franco), Tony Procula (stick it up the rear), Mele Metes (stick it in) and Cheno Manboliques (sounds like something bizarre) as exec producer. Runtime is 84 minutes, four minutes longer than the time noted in OBSESSION: THE FILMS OF JESS FRANCO. *The score also contains excerpts from Daniel White’s LA COMTESSE NOIRE (1973) music and other soundtracks credited to Pablo Villa. Thanks to Nzoog for the translations and helping me see this ultra obscure title. (C) Robert Monell 2024